THIS IS CONFUSING!

Being a parent is tricky! We want to be good parents instilling biblical teaching into our children yet..... we want to ... um, How do I say this and not sound 'sac-relig'? Trick them into being good so the big fat guy, who hasn't shaved in a while, and has poor eating habits, will give us some of his loot!

Think about though, (I'm sure if you have smart kiddos, you've thought about it...) I grew up hearing "be good b/c Santa is watching". We tell our kids that they have to do what they're told if 'they want stuff'...... I'm beginning to feel..... guilty about some of the junk associated with Christmas.... I don't want this to be a downer - I'm looking at it in a humorous/realistic way.... come along with me as I spew my thoughts....

Today we talked about Jesus knowing everything -
Honey asked, "How does Jesus know everything?"
Because he made us.
"did he really make us?"
Yes, he made ALL of us.
"What did he do? Draw, color and cut us out?"
um, not like that but sorta... he thought us up and then created us! (Good one, I know)

Jack took a turn to teach Honey about Jesus being in our hearts if we ask him. "That's why he knows everything, even when we don't say it right." Then .... hang on, here is when it gets a little funny, b/c it's exactly what Pastor said in Bible Study today.... Jack was explaining how Jesus is in his own heart, (proud parent moment) and Honey wanted to sit next to him at lunch. He said no.... and both dad and mom said, "how is saying no to your sister who loves you showing that you have Jesus in your heart?" "Come on....." and he smirked as he patted the seat and pushed over!

Moral of the story - If Jesus is in your heart.... he's always in your heart, not just when you want Lego's or a doll, or a skateboard, or a game, or ... you know .....

My favorite saying today - Just b/c you spend a lot of time in the garage doesn't make you a car!

So back to the tricky parenting part.... Jack wants legos at Walmart. He asks everyday to go to Walmart and get Lego's... we tell him that we can't just go and buy stuff, have to save up, or wait for a special occasion... Poor kid - doesn't really have the whole - be nice and you'll get what you want but you have to be tortured for the whole month of December first....
I kinda just want to skip it all, except for the music of course!

I'm thinking that next year will be different, they'll have some background to the whole Jesus Birthday In America-thing. (If I can just get it right and not make it into a more confusing holiday than it really is... Jesus is the reason for the season!

Enjoy your traditions, and make up some new ones... we're going to make popcorn balls today! YUMM-A-DOO!

Remembering when....

We've been home for 9 months. There have been a lot of times when I thought I wasn't going to make it....especially in the beginning. Today as I watch the many families from our agency approach their court date I think back to where we were a year ago.

We knew who our newest family members were going to be, but we didn't know when they were going to come home.

We knew their birth dates and ages, but didn't know how big they were going to be (or how small).

We knew that we couldn't wait to fill the house with their laughter, but didn't realize how LOUD they would be.

We knew that we would be singing and dancing, but didn't know how our cheeks would hurt from the smiling and our ears heart from the noise....yea it's all good........

A year ago we had our hands on everything we could get them on to educate ourselves on international/interracial adoption of older children....who knew it could be so complicated!

In all the possible complications.... I don't recall many....;-) (the euphoria of birthing a child is a lot like the euphoria of adopting older siblings internationally - we let the painful memories take a back seat to the joyous ones!)

Jack is almost always happily making noise. His voice is high pitched and when he's happy, it's higher! But he's happy, so we count this as a good blessing.

Tonight, as we were getting ready for supper, Jack brought up the memory of how he cried when he came home.... I asked if he remembered how long he cried for. He said 'for one day.' Honestly it was longer - much, much longer. It was 2 days straight.....it was so hard to watch him cry. In the end he collapsed on the floor under the table. He went from the kitchen crying, to the dining room crying to the couch in the living room crying. There was no stopping him. He didn't really eat in all the time he cried. We were wondering what we did to this poor child! How could we take him out of his country all the way across the world, we were mean, brutal, selfish people! He WOuLDN'T STOP CRYING!

What saved our sanity - or rather what helped Jack to accept the big change was the fact that he knew others had gone before him. Just a few weeks before we picked him and his sister up at Hannah's Hope Home, several of his friends went home to their forever families in Illinois, Arizona, Washington, Texas. He even knew of a little boy who came home to the same state as we did - in fact we were able to have this little boy over on day 2 of the crying. This is what finally helped him to start coping with changes. Tonight I asked him why he was crying, he started with, "It was so cold outside." Well it's much more than that. I was surprised he was so willing to talk about the feelings he was experiencing so long ago. We chatted about what was happening to him at that time. I asked if he remembered his sister's feelings. "Yea, she was happy." If you recall, he has said in the past that she is different in America than she was in Ethiopia. We really believe that she was waiting to come to America before she ever let anyone know the real person she is - she had very little difficulty with adjustment. In fact, when Jack was having his crying marathon she would walk by him and make a sound like crying in his direction, then roll her eyes at him.....she had no sympathy!

I would love to help families the way little E has helped our guy during his transition. (In fact, Jack loves E and reaches for him in church when we see him. E has no idea of how important he is to Jack!)

I am reminded over and over that we, the adopting parents, think we're coming to the end of the paper chasing task - and beginning of the enlarged family journey. The starfish who have been saved are just beginning another phase of their life and they're going to need help adjusting - whether it's now, accepting their family changes, with the English language, or whether its later as they begin to question what happened to their family and why does it have to be this way.

It's hard. I remember saying so a lot in the beginning of our journey. We wouldn't change it for anything though. We think it's hard on us, can you imagine what it's like for the children to whom this is all happening to?

A reflection not just because it's the close of our Thanksgiving Weekend, and we're onto Advent but because it's something we do always, everyday!

Hanging out in the 'work out' room at the Union Hotel in Addis Ababa.

Waiting to go out for dinner while in Ethiopia!

At the cultural dinner when we were in Ethiopia!

HIM: Mom! My tooth hurts!

ME: Let me see it

ME: Oh, I think you're going to lose it.... Dad, Is he supposed to lose this one?

12 hours later

HIM: Mom! My tooth is out!

ME: oh, save it, I'll help you in a minute, I'm cutting dad's hair.

HIM: What do I do with it?

ME (&DAD at the same time): Put it on the counter!

10 minutes later

ME: Where's your tooth?

HIM: Oh, I flushed it, like you told me to...

ME: UGGGG! (and inside my head 'How am I supposed to teach silly American traditions like the tooth fairy if the tooth has been flushed!')

SHEEEEEEE's BAAAAAAACk!

Honey has been under the weather for the past week. We took a ride up north last Wednesday, on a day off (Veteran's Day - we let our Vet do the driving, but he got to choose the place) and Honey really wanted to be held a lot. She often times tells us that she's "not a baby", and to "Pick her down!", but that day she was different. I suspected that she was overwhelmed b/c it was crowded. The other 'notable' thing was that when I did pick her up she told me that I hurt her under her arm - hindsight= maybe she had a swollen lymph node i.e. fighting something. Each day the past week we've been taking her temp and trying to get the fever under control. She didn't complain about pain or really anything, she was just lethargic; a little, and warm; a lot!

During her illness she was able to master reading decimals. She also mastered greater than and less than. She was able to count ounces and make food demands.... I mean eat minimally while still managing to direct the household. She did a good deal of sleeping - somehow I convinced her to sleep on daddy's side of the bed during her naps (I've become a germ-aphobic since growing a pink curly tail and noticing that my own nose is sorta kinda pushed up lately) I suspect that I had 'something' last May that lasted a week and included a fever and headache....I digress...sorry, it's about her, not me.

Last night she fell asleep watching Little Mermaid, after telling me that the witch is bad, and slept over 12 hours. She woke up after I went to work and Jack went to school and celebrated with a 98.1. She maintained a normal temperature all day without help and then got wound up! She knew she had the criteria to return to school. Oh she even mastered properly coughing while in the middle of a sentence without losing a beat or spreading too many germs. During all of this she's had a birthday, and missed a week of school aka life, and her Star status at school. She is so excited to go back to school. She was supposed to be 'Star of the Day' on Friday and thinks that she's going to be Star tomorrow b/c she's been out - never mind it's someone else's turn!

Can't wait to get back to our normal! (and daddy does need some time off! Poor guy has been held hostage by a 32 pound 6 year old!)

Happy Birthday Honey!

Cake makes Honey happy, even when she's not feeling well.

Honey spent her 6th birthday in her pj's. She's got a fever and has missed 2 days of school. She was planning on sharing cupcakes with her class today - but instead her poor small body is fighting something and she's been pretty sad about it all day. Cake did help for a bit. She was so excited about opening up a birthday present that she couldn't contain herself.

To get her to take a fever reducer this morning she wanted me to promise that if she, "took a vitamin, she could go to school." "No, that is a promise I can't make Honey, a vitamin isn't going to do it for you today."

Heard from Honey:

Mom, Titus (6yr old yellow lab) took care of me today. When I was sleep, he was asleep right next to me. When I was on the couch he was right next to me on the couch.

Also heard from Honey: Today daddy did take care of me, he said, ok, ok, ok.

Heard from Jack: he had to go to the nurse b/c his finger nail FINALLY came off, from slamming it in the car door back in September - the nurse wanted to call home so she asked Jack, "Is your mom home?" Jack said, "No, but my dad is home." Nurse then asked, "Does he speak English?" Jack said, "ahhh yeah".

It's nice to have daddy home ALL THE TIME! Honey stayed home from school today with a cough, 'different voice' and fever. And when the nurse called home, she actually got someone at home to talk about why Jack can't stay after school b/c he has a band aid on his thumb and it might fall off when he plays after school soccer, and then it might get a speck of dirt in it, and then it might get infected and then it might get gangrene and then his thumb might fall off, and then it might infect his hand and that might fall off and then after his hand falls off he'll have to learn to write with his left hand then his hand writing will be messy and he'll probably lose his "honors" status on his report card. After that he'll want to quit school and become a thug.... the nurse is right, he shouldn't play soccer b/c his fingernail fell off....a quick downward spiral into delinquency!

Yesterday was Veteran's Day and we had the day off from school. Daddy had the day off too - (the day off from home?) Suddenly I was compelled to nudge him a little though, How come when I have a day off from work I am doing work at home, and how come now when HE has a day off from work, he's not working anywhere? Ok, I conceded, he's a Veteran and I do appreciate what he's done for our country - and more closer to home - I really really really appreciate what he does for us at home!

I'm feeling a bit behind the blogging scene! I don't want to just run a laundry list of what we've done and been up to yet I need to catch up.....what to do...what to do....hum, I've only got a few minutes I suppose with Jack out on his skateboard (the one he bought with his cash prize from 1st place at a local 5k road race) and Honey napping - yes that one does slow down a bit, a very little bit, to refuel.

Jack has the shirt with the number 22 on it. His official time was 22:21! So proud of him!

Kiddos sitting front row during the awards ceremony.

He has no idea of what a treasure he is to us!

When Jack woke up today he came down stairs ready for church - dressed and moisturized. If you live with black skin you know that it drinks moisture. I have dry, chalky white skin that hurts in the winter, but I believe that my skin doesn't compare to their dry, ashy skin. His first comment was, "I don't know why but today I am happy!" Well, we might know why, it's Sunday, Church day, family day, soccer day, and it's sunny out, and yesterday you finally got that skateboard you've been longing for! Aside from the obvious danger of a skate board we really wanted to get him one b/c he's wanted one. But I was hesitant to just buy him one b/c he wanted one. So we let him sweat it out a little while and watched the money grow in his jar. He gets a small allowance and we have him use some of it for his offering. We give him the cash and tell him what to do with it. He's so sweet and sharing with it. He does let it sit there, and if we forget (like during most of the summer) he doesn't say a thing about it. And if he wants something, he does extra effort around the house. We don't want to pay him for his chores b/c everyone participates in the running of the household and we don't pay for what is expected, but we do think that they should be stewards of their money and help them offer, save and invest wisely so we give him some to do that with.

Jack LOVES Pastor:

After Sunday service, more than a few times, Jack has mentioned that he loves Pastor. He also said that one day he wants to do like pastor on Sunday. We told him that Pastor works for the church all week, everyday. He thought that Pastor just did his thing on Sundays, (volunteer). Today when Jack was getting his offering ready he wanted to put in a lot more money than he usually does. He wants to pay for Pastors salary since learning that was his regular full time job. Jack can be heard speaking out loud in response to Pastor's sermons on Sundays. I just love his Godly heart and hope he continues to walk with Jesus.

Honey is very inquisitive:

Honey has been asking a lot of questions about babies lately. One day she wouldn't stop with the, "How much does it hurt?" question. And the "Did you cry?" question. Today she was asking "Do you die when your stomach comes open for the baby to come out?" questions.....oh, I'm not ready for this AT ALL! How much time do I have? I learned that when children ask questions, it's best to be honest and only answer the question they ask, not go into the long version of what we think they're asking....Again, I ask, HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE before I have to tell her EVERYTHING? She's the type of kiddo that will clarify the gritty details for anyone who is misled at the school lunch table....I'm waiting....

While he's playing soccer,

she's making us ice creams!

Today was our last fall soccer game and it was a glorious weather day! We might have hit 70* in New England! Sunny, no wind, just slow moving bees for us to swat at while watching soccer.

This is what we do before and after soccer games....it's called 'the bribe!' but don't tell her....

the final update....

Her dresses are beginning to run short,

His toes are popping through his sneakers,

Life is good!